Grief is heavy, wet, and oh so painful. It can feel like an arrow in your heart. Whenever you lose something important in your life, it’s natural to suffer grief. You may feel sad, devastated, lonely, lost, empty, weak, helpless, depressed, or even suicidal. All of these are faces of grief.
Nobody likes to feel painful emotions. As a society we do everything we can to avoid them — we ignore, push away, numb, deflect, project, anything to avoid the pain.
But the cost of doing this is great. Unresolved emotions can get trapped in the body and cause unwanted physical symptoms. They also keep us from feeling the joy, happiness, and gratitude that waits for us on the other side.
So here are 4 tips to effectively move through grief.
Tip #1: Acknowledge specifically what you are grieving. For example, at the end of a relationship, you might not just be grieving the loss of the person in your life, but the loss of your home, your future plans, your financial security, your status as a couple or family, or time with your kids. In the case of a job it might not just be your livelihood but your sense of purpose, your work community, your status, etc. The individual losses may be big or small, but it helps to name them.
Tip # 2: Soothe your sadness with water. While anger likes powerful, strong, fiery movement , water is grief’s natural healer. While you may have been taught somewhere along the way that crying is a sign of weakness, it’s the body’s natural way of releasing grief. Allow your tears to flow. It’s amazing how helpful a good cry can be! If tears do not come, water can still be used to soothe sadness. Here are some ideas:
- Soak in a warm bath or jacuzzi
- Rest a warm water bottle over your heart or wherever the sadness feels stuck.
- Drink lots and lots of water to hydrate your body and allow the sadness to flow through.
Tip #3: Create healthy closure. When losing something important, it’s helpful to consciously say good-bye. Here are some ideas:
- Write a good-bye letter to all that you have lost: your love, your home, your livelihood, your community, your future plans, etc.
- Create an altar and/or light a candle to honor who/what you have lost
- If you are on decent terms with someone you are separating from, create a ceremony of closure. My ex-husband and I had a ceremony where we returned our wedding rings to each other and put them in little boxes I had bought for the purpose. It was not the joyful occasion of our wedding, but it brought a peaceful sense of closure to our marriage.
Tip #4: Deeply process your emotions with EFT/Tapping. EFT/Tapping meets your emotions right where they are and allows them to deeply process through your body’s energy system. There is no better way I know of to thoroughly process grief or other painful emotions!
While on the other side of anger is passion, joy, enthusiasm and a zest for life, on the other side of grief is connection, compassion, and peace. As we connect with and move through our grief, we learn to embrace our vulnerability, which opens us up to experience life more fully. Deeply processing painful feelings can be uncomfortable, but the benefits are well worth the effort.
If you are interested in exploring EFT/Tapping, check out my affordable introductory courses at www.themissingpeace.thinkific.com or schedule a free consultation to see if 1:1 transformational coaching might be a good fit for your needs.